PCOS DEPRESSION – MY UNCONTROLLABLE EMOTIONS
My moods are out of control, it’s ridiculous!! I can’t tell good decisions from bad ones. It’s not until they are back to normal I realise what a nightmare I have been and then I have to go around apologising to everyone. It’s frustrating!!
I also seem to make up things in my head and act upon it. I could be sitting there minding my own business then a thought would enter my mind, the thought upsets me and then I take it out on the person that I am thinking about regardless as to whether they have done anything wrong. I’ve even reached the stage where my instincts tell me not to be happy and act upset without any justification or reason behind the mood that I am in.
Recently I took a phone call from an ignorant client, he wasn’t overly rude but he wound me up for some reason to the point where I saw red and put the phone down on him. I was suspended from work for a week with full pay, I knew it was my hormones and stress but I also know that they would not understand, especially with a male boss. They would be like oh another bloody woman blaming her actions on hormones!!. So I just took the punishment. Ordinarily I can deal with wankers on the phone in a calm and professional manner.
Right now I have dumped my boyfriend because I feel like it, I have decided that I am not happy in the relationship although last month it was the best relationship ever…WTF!! I’m not sure if he will take me back this time, I tend to dump him a lot and I am completely irrational and he said that he has had enough because I’m not doing anything about it…Whoops
The problem is when I am really hormonal, I have a very low self esteem and I think that I am fat and ugly and why is he with me. I am completely needy and I push everyone away. I don’t think I am capable of anything and I don’t want to do anything, just sit and be depressed. I think I have bought nearly every sad film available which is just pathetic but for some reason it makes me feel better.
In my head I want to diet and exercise but the thought is taken over by Hmmm MacDonald’s Big Mac with large fries with a large full fat coke. My fella said it’s like watching me self harm myself and he always says that I cut my nose off to spite my face.
How do you stop when you don’t even know you’re doing it???
So being the sad geek that I am I decided to look up mood swings and PCOS on the net, and this is what I found…
Understanding Mood Swings and PCOS
PCOS is the result of a misdirected endocrine system, a cascade of hormonal imbalances that have very real and very serious affects on the body as well as on the mind. Each and every cell of the body is a buzzing energy factory with numerous receptors or docking sites on its surface that allow hormones and other nutrients to latch on and perform their specialized tasks.
Our bodies require that specific levels of these hormones be maintained. In a complex response system, based in part on the amount of different hormones that successfully locate and latch on to their own receptor sites on the cell’s surface, the body monitors and adjusts the levels of hormones and other active constituents such as glucose.
If the body senses that a hormone level is too low, it will stimulate the production of more hormones. If it senses that it’s too high, it will stop production and possibly even send in another specific kind of molecule to remove the excess, as it does with excess glucose which is stored as fat. In the case of perfect health, our systems work well. However, because of disease, genetics and lifestyle factors such as nutrition, exercise and stress, this highly sensitive system is often thrown out of kilter. (This makes a lot of sense…hmmm)
How Can We Alter This Course?
Exercise is the single most important first step in the treatment of insulin resistance that we all can do on our own. Within days of starting a regular exercise program, our body’s systems begin to respond to the exertion of energy. Endorphins are released in the brain, stimulating the immune system and softening the strangle-hold on mood swings and depression. (Easier bloody said that done!!)
And it doesn’t have to cost a bundle. What is necessary, however, is that we approach a daily exercise regimen as if our lives depend on it…which they do. The problem is, it’s difficult – if not impossible – to get going if our mind is overwhelmed with thoughts of hopelessness and fear. This is when we need a support group, a group of walkers or a group of women with PCOS, who support us in motivating ourselves into taking that first walk and continue each day after that. (This is sooo true, which is why I decided to lose the weight and start this website and with the help of other PCOS warriors stay on course)
Consulting with a health care provider is also important because, depending on your PCOS symptoms, you may still require medication. In the meantime, taking a few steps to improve your overall health will help support your progress. In addition to exercise, improving your diet and reducing your stress levels will help stabilize your insulin and glucose levels and improve hormonal balance.
It would be interesting to read how other PCOS suffers deal with these damn mood swings??